A Wish or a Desire?

There is a Zen story where a young novice approaches the master asking how he could achieve his wish of experiencing true enlightenment.

Without a word the master roughly grabbed the young man and dunked his head underwater in a nearby horse trough. He struggled for some time until the master released him, sputtering and gasping for air.

"When you desire enlightenment as much as you craved air just a moment ago, then you will find it," said the elder monk.

A bit extreme and not very nice if you ask me, but it does raise a question. What is the difference between a wish and a desire?

It may seem like a bit of semantics, but a wish is kind of weak and passive where a desire is strong and all consuming.

You may want greater health or success, but has it been a wish or a desire? This is an important distinction because in order to make significant change you have to overcome the natural tendency to fall into predictable ruts.  Emotion and passion is what will drive you out of the rut.

Yet this raises another question. What curbs our desires?

In Dr Rolf Alexader's classic book The Healing Power of the Mind (1989), the author notes that the subconscious mind will sometimes withdraw desire as a protective measure, when the fear of disappointment is greater than whatever emotional or physical pain you are going through.

This can explain why people often remain stuck even though the reasons to change far outweigh those to stay the same. People know they should stop smoking, eat and exercise well, be more confident and so on. However, reasoning is a conscious mind function and when it comes into conflict with subconscious programming, the latter almost always wins.

Hypnosis can help you quell those fears of failure and other negative conditioning. Having an experienced hypnosis practitioner in your corner can frequently help you make a significant breakthrough. If you would like to learn more, I am here to help. Call me directly at (732) 714-7040 for a free and confidential Life Enhancement Strategy Session.

Hypnosis and Nausea Relief?

Getting sick to your stomach is one of the most unpleasant experiences going. Yet did you know that in certain cases hypnosis may offer significant relief?

More frequently than not vomiting is a protective and potentially life saving involuntary response. Often it occurs when we are exposed to a pathogen (stomach bug) or ingest an excess of alcohol or something else that is toxic in high enough doses.  The body is purging itself of something it recognizes as harmful and this should not be suppressed. 

However there are also two fairly common situations where nausea is not productive and can actually do more harm than good. One goes by the medical term of hyperemesis gravidium, but is better known as morning sickness in pregnant women. The other is the nausea that occurs as a side effect of chemotherapy in the treatment of cancer. 

With both morning sickness and cancer treatment there is a physical reason for the nausea. A woman's body undergoes dramatic changes in order to carry a baby. Cancer can be a tenacious disease, so the drugs used to treat it need to be powerful as well.

Yet due to the way the brain works, by unconsciously matching patterns, it is possibly for the nausea to start being initiated by environmental and emotional cues that are simply associated with but not actually related to the original chemical trigger. Its as if stress and negative expectation teaches a person to get nauseous in once pleasant or neutral situations. 

(Note: excessive stress  and the subsequent fight or flight response in and of itself often manifests in all manner of disturbances in the digestive tract, including nausea)

This can be highly problematic, making it difficult for a woman to endure a wanted pregnancy and can interfere with the nutritional needs of both herself and the new life she is bringing into the world. 

Cancer patients may want to discontinue necessary medical treatment and they too have heightened nutritional needs.

Where hypnosis comes into play, is that it is the most effective method of neutralizing unconscious triggers because it addresses them at their source. There are a number of highly effective techniques that can help you experience significant relief and in my practice I have seen good results in just one or two visits.

If you would like to learn more, please give me a call at (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation. 

Alchemy and the Upside of Addiction? A Different Perspective

A working definition of addiction could be, "the continued use of a substance or engagement in a behavior in spite of negative consequences." Some addictions such as opioid misuse or severe alcoholism have an element of what is called "tissue dependency" where a person may need medical assistance to safely wean off of the drug of choice. However, most addictions such as smoking, overeating, gambling and a host of others do not create tissue dependency, although they can and do create significant problems.

You might wonder what be the upside of addiction when it wreaks so much havoc? Well it does show the person is able to focus and engage in persistent goal seeking behavior. It's been noted that addicts of all varieties seem to be more driven than the average person and that often people in recovery go on to attain remarkable achievements.

For example, smokers always ensure they have a steady supply of cigarettes and plan their activities around when and where they can smoke-no exceptions. "Junk food junkies" will frequently have a stash (often hidden) of their favorite unhealthy food in their home or car. A gambler can always find a place where he or she can lay down a wager and so on.

Just as the alchemists of old sought to transform the base metal lead into gold, its strongly advised that a new set of goals be formulated when a person finally decides to disengage from the addictive behavior.

Dealing with stressors, past trauma and improving self-image are also important factors in recovery, yet finding a healthy and appropriate channel for the goal seeking drive is necessary too.

This is why I will often tell smoking cessation clients that this is the perfect time to get into a fitness program or take care of projects around the house. They are often astounded at how much they are getting done once the compulsion to smoke has been redirected into something positive.

Please feel free to connect if you would like some help transforming some of your lead into gold. Either give me a call directly at (732) 714-7040 or fill out the Life Enhancement Strategy Form and I will get back to you ASAP.

Tinnitus Stress Magnified?

I occasionally  participate in an online forum for people looking for effective strategies when it comes to dealing with tinnitus.

Recently I posted this question to the members there:

"I have been an ATA support group leader in the past here at the Jersey Shore. I also see clients with tinnitus in my hypnosis practice. Here's the question. Do you believe that the initial interactions with your healthcare providers when you developed tinnitus helped or hindered your recovery? I am curious as I have encountered people who felt they were treated with less than adequate sensitivity and this created a sense of hopelessness and panic. For example being told "you have tinnitus, there's nothing that can be done, go home and learn to live with it" without being given any actual direction on coping strategies. Is this commonplace or just a few healthcare providers with a deficiency in empathy and communications skills?" 

Dozens of group members took the time to reply and indeed it does seem that the being traumatized by poor communication from healthcare providers is unfortunately rather common.

While some respondents stated they received supportive care, many didn't replying with comments like:
"I was told by an ENT that I waited 9 months to see "just ignore it". My visit was 4 minutes long"

"I saw an insensitive audiologist at a well know high street store who told me people committed suicide with tinnitus. He thoroughly depressed me and scared me to death!! Thank god I saw a hospital audiologist who gave me hope my brain would get fed up and filter the sound out."

"My G.P. used those very words!! "You have Tinnitus, we can't do anything for you, you'll have to learn to live with it!!"

"I'm in Perth Australia and YES I also hate the doctor who said exactly what you wrote. I cried for weeks without any direction. It was  horrible."

The experience of having tinnitus is complex as I am sure you are aware. There is the neurological misfiring that is creating the perceived noise and then there is a person's response to that signal which can vary depending on stress levels and personal expectations.

I suspect that those people who received negative, pessimistic or dismissive communication from their initial healthcare provider had insult heaped on injury in that it increased anxiety and a sense of hopelessness and made the subjective perception of the tinnitus worse.

Never underestimate the reach of the mind/body connection to work in the other direction too.  People who feel better tend to heal better and anything you can do to reduce stress, anxiety and pessimism will help in the long run.

If you could use some help, please consider me a resource. A free initial phone consultation is available, call (732) 714-7040 to set that up.

P.S. I also have free self-help resources for tinnitus you can access at https://www.njhypno.com/tinnitus-nj-help

On the heels of the recent revelations regarding a Hollywood mogul who apparently is a monstrous sexual predator, the hashtag #metoo this week became a way for women to show solidarity on social media platforms, indicating that they too had been victimized by this type of abuse and harassment.

It was very saddening to see how many women have been mistreated in this way and keep in mind these are just the ones who are willing to be publicly identified. The real number is surely much higher.

These kind of traumatic events may leave lasting negative imprints that can significantly impact a person's quality of life unless address properly processed.

After a traumatic experience takes place, for a time there will usually be strong emotional reactions when it is recalled. In the process of healing, the emotions eventually dissipate and the event goes to what is called, "narrative memory." You know it happened, yet it doesn't provoke as powerful a reaction when you think about it.

Yet for some the memories remain fresh; even decades later it can seem as if it happened yesterday.

This becomes problematic since anything that reminds the person of the original event can provoke feelings of fear and anxiety due to a process known as pattern matching.  For example, a person isn't just afraid of the man who abused her, but is fearful of all men in his age group. This kind of dynamic takes place in many other types of unhealthy fears such as public speaking, heights, insects, etc. The generalization ends up limiting the individual that in a way that is not helpful.

A highly effective technique for decreasing the effect of negative memories is the Rewind Technique. I was trained in it a few years back and have seen some notable successes with it.

What attracted me to the Rewind Technique is that it is completely non-traumatic to the client. It is not a process where a person has to vividly relive past hurt, but rather learns how to release the emotional charge. Another positive attribute of the method is that a person does not have to share much in the way of specific details related to the hurt or upset, a general description is adequate.

If you or someone you know may benefit from some assistance in getting over a negative past experience,. a free, confidential phone consultation is available by calling (732) 714-7040

P.S. If you are a professional hypnotist or other helping professional, you can learn about training in the Rewind Technique and other helpful interventions at the Uncommon Knowledge Web Site.

Health Coaching, New Service Available

This week I passed my exam to become a Certified Health Coach through the American Council on Exercise and I wanted to let you know about a new service I will be offering in addition to hypnosis counseling. The program I completed is accredited by the National Commission for Certifying Agencies (NCCA), the same body that accredits certifications for athletic trainers, nurse practitioners, occupational therapists, registered dietitians and many other health professions.

Often a person wishes to make lifestyle changes related to exercise and nutrition in order to improve health and appearance as well as reduce stress levels. Yet it can be hard to know how to start and this is where the Health Coach can be of assistance. Services include:

-Assessing whether it is safe for you to begin a progressive exercise program.
-Helping you to identify goals and a plan to overcome obstacles.
-Providing guidelines on movement and nutrition based on sound, evidence-based research.
-Offer support and encouragement as you make lifestyle changes.

I know I learned a lot of things that I have personally found helpful in the process of this course and look forward to sharing with others. In particular, those who have repeatedly felt stuck and frustrated when it comes to creating a healthier lifestyle.

Health coaching services can be utilized as a standalone or can be integrated with traditional hypnosis services depending on your needs and preferences. I look forward to helping you move forward into your healthier future, give me a call at (732) 714-7040 if you have any questions.

There is a meeting of the Jersey Shore Tinnitus Support Group scheduled for this Saturday, September 9 at 11 AM in Point Pleasant Beach in the conference room at my office.

This is an opportunity to give and receive support and coping tips. There is no fee to attend but preregistration is requested which you can do by sending me an email at james@njhypnotist.com- I will send you a set of directions when you do.

I hope all is well and hope to hear from you soon.


Best wishes,

James Malone

P.S. There are some free resource on stress relief for tinnitus you can access at
https://www.njhypno.com/tinnitus-nj-help

Is it Hunger or Appetite? A Crucial Weight Loss Skill

The ability to tell the difference between hunger and appetite is a crucial skill when it comes to reaching and maintaining a healthy body weight. Yet initially it may be difficult for you to make this important distinction.

Hunger can be defined as the signal your body sends out when it needs food for fuel and repair. If you go too long without food, you may actually begin to feel lightheaded or weak.

Appetite is the desire to eat apart from natural hunger and can be triggered by emotions, thoughts and circumstances such as location, other people and time of day.

You will succeed in weight loss when you eat primarily from hunger rather than appetite. So how do you tell the difference?

One trait of hunger is that it gradually builds.  This is where what may be called the "20 minute rule" can be helpful. If you get the sudden urge to eat,  ask yourself, "did I want to eat 20 minutes ago?" If the answer is no, then most likely appetite is at work.

Another way to figure out the if it is hunger or appetite is whether you are being picky at that moment.

Let's imagine a situation where you have a friend who is not all that fond of apples.

He says, "I am really hungry, do you have anything to eat?" so you offer him an apple and he replies, "nah, I don't want that, do you have anything else?"

At this point we can safely guess that he is mistaking appetite for hunger because someone who has been stuck on a desert island for a week without proper rations would grab that Granny Smith in a heartbeat! That would be real hunger.

With some practice you can learn to appreciate your body's natural hunger signals and learn to avoid the extremes of being ravenous or stuffing yourself to the point of being uncomfortable. This is one of the essential practices in healthy weight loss and something I cover with my clients. Enhanced awareness of hunger vs. appetite can enable you to come with effective strategies for situations where you previously got off track.

If you would like to learn more, please give me a call at (732) 714-7040 for a complimentary Life Enhancement Strategy Session or fill out the form and I will get back to you ASAP

Access Your Free Life Enhancement Strategy Starter Kit

Are you at a place where you are testing the waters when it comes to make a personal transformation whether it be quitting smoking, losing weight or releasing unhealthy stress or fears?

The Life Enhancement Strategy Starter Kit can provide with insights on how hypnosis can help you move forward and whether it is right for you. It includes:

-Is Hypnosis Right for You? A concise e-book that explains the how and why of hypnosis when it comes to personal change.

-The 7 Minute Stress Buster mp3. This audio program allows you to try a brief hypnosis session at home to experience what it feels like. 

-Readiness to Change Quiz. A short series of questions that will give you deeper clarity about your current situation.

This download is free, instantly access your copy through the Add To Cart button below

Traveling with Tinnitus Tips

This is the time of year where many of us have travel plans. For someone with tinnitus or chronic ringing/buzzing of the ears there are specific concerns related to travel so as to not make your situation worse.

Over the years I have been a volunteer for the American Tinnitus Association, organizing support meetings and make myself available to offer  coping tips to those in need. Generally the advice is to protect yourself without becoming prisoner to your symptoms. In other words, live your life around your life and not the tinnitus.

For example, if you enjoy rock concerts or riding motorcycles go ahead and do so but make sure you wear adequate hearing protection.

 Another potential trigger for a tinnitus flare-up is flying due to the changes in barometric pressure. Some ENT's suggest using decongestants to make sure your Eustachian tubes are open and there also pressure equalizing earplugs you may wish to consider using. (I wrote more extensively on this topic in this Tinnitus Coping Tip post) 

Recently I received a note from someone who connected with me previously for advice regarding travel and tinnitus and she agreed to let me share the contents with you. 

Hi Jim,

I wrote to you a few months ago regarding my concern about flying with Tinnitus. While I still haven't been brave enough to step on a airplane, I did decide to go on a cruise. I was really concerned about how the wind on the boat might affect my Tinnitus. Also, I have mild hyperacusis and as a result, I don't enjoy being in loud places. 

I am happy to report that I had a great time. The wind on the ship didn't bother me at all. I chose a cabin that was on a floor with cabins above it and below it, so it was very quiet. Some of the entertainment was ear piercingly loud, including the main swimming pool during the day, so I either stayed away or just kept waking thru those venues on the ship. I also carried ear plugs in my pocket, just in case. While there were things I wasn't able to attend, I didn't feel the least bit deprived. Instead, I celebrated the fact that I could go and do most things on the ship. I even went on a glass bottom boat excursion!  But, ear plugs during the muster (evacuation) drill were a must! 

I wanted to pass this on to you because I'm sure there are others with Tinnitus and hyperacusis that have wondered about cruising and how it might affect them. I really saw little to no difference in my Tinnitus during the cruise. It also probably helped that I was busy focusing on my vacation, not on my Tinnitus. I had a very successful cruise, and hope I get the opportunity to go again. 

Best regards,

JT

I believe the takeaway from this is that you got to take some calculated risks along with some prudent preparation and go out and enjoy yourself as she did, you might be pleasantly surprised. Have a great summer! 

P.S. I have some free self-help resources on my Tinnitus NJ Help page you may wish to check out. If you feel you may benefit from more intensive private sessions, they are available too. You can connect by calling (732) 714-7040 or filling out the Life Enhancement Strategy Form and I will get back to you ASAP. 

Free Tinnitus Stress Relief Class on 4/1

On Saturday, April 1 at noon, I will be hosting a free stress management class specifically for people who are learning to cope with tinnitus. It will be held in the 2nd floor conference room at my office building in Point Pleasant Beach. 

For some individuals the chronic ringing or buzzing of the ears can be a very stressful situation to deal with. Over time, it can have severe impact on your quality of life causing irritability and difficulty with concentration. 

Like with any new or upsetting symptom, it is important to first received a thorough medical examination to rule out any serious and or treatable underlying causes of the tinnitus. Often patients are referred to audiologists for evaluation and treatment as well. 

While its important to avail yourself to the best medical and audiological treatment you can access, self-care measures that include using stress management techniques can be helpful too. Stress and anxiety tend to increase the perceived volume of tinnitus and keep you focused on it. Many authorities such as the American Tinnitus Association recommend learning relaxation methods as a complementary coping tool. 

Yet it can be challenging to learn mind/body healing techniques on your own without some initial guidance. 

At the upcoming class you will have an opportunity to have firsthand experience with several intentional relaxation techniques including:

• Mindfulness meditation.
• The emotional detox technique.
• Guided self-hypnosis.

Although the class is free advanced registration is required due to limited seating. Sign up through the link below:

Tinnitus Class Registration.

Elaine Billy Upcoming Workshop Schedule

 Elaine Billy’s Choices

198 Schanck Rd Freehold, NJ 732-761-1026

Workshop Schedule 2017

RELEASING AND REMOVING BLOCKS and RECHARGING—Friday, February 10, 2017, 7 PM

Uncover your limiting beliefs, blocks and issues. Learn how to recharge. Let go of old issues and create a life of opportunities. Heal wounds that may have fragmented you and reclaim your power!!

DREAMS—Friday, March 3, 2017, 7 PM

Program yourself to receive answers in your dreams and retrieve the information during the day! Discover the symbols and meanings of your dreams and visions. What happens when we don’t dream? Learn what our dreams tell us in each cycle of dreaming!! Find keys to utilize dream-time to heal or resolve our problems. We’ll make collages and understand our subconscious desires!!! We’ll discover how to read messages to help in our decision-making efforts.

PAST LIFE REGRESSION— Friday, April 7, 2017 7PM

Have we been here before or are we remembering our genetic encoding? Unlock knowledge to help explain relationships, roles, experiences, career choices, health conditions, economic standards, beliefs, likes and dislikes…. By opening windows of the past, one can accept responsibility, find answers, free ourselves of limitations, enhance skills, heal the present, explore….resolve…heal….and enjoy the trip. We can also look into our future!!

COST: $75 per person per workshop. Registration and food begin at 6:30.

3 Reasons Why Hypnosis Will Help You Succeed in 2017

New Jersey Hypnosis for Weight Loss and Smoking Cessation

On the surface positive change seems like it should be fairly simple. Just make rational decisions based on logic and reason. Easy right? Yet as the old saying goes, "if it's such a great idea, why aren't I doing it already?"

The primary reason is that most of our behavior is automatic and subconscious. The deeper parts of the mind run habit patterns whether they are good, bad or neutral.

Hypnosis is a process that uses a naturally altered state of consciousness to introduce helpful suggestions to the subconscious mind, to give it a new direction.

Here are three ways hypnosis can support your healthy decisions:

Create positive expectation: there is a psychological phenomena called learned helplessness. Experience enough adversity and frustration and you may come to expect that is how things will continue to be in the future and that there really is no use in trying. But what would you be capable of if you knew you couldn't fail? Your drive and determination would be unstoppable. With hypnosis you get to vividly experience your future success which can be a tremendous motivator-learning to "keep you inner eye on the prize."

Deactivating subconscious cues: you may have heard of Pavlov and his famous experiments where he conditioned dogs to salivate by sound. Initially he would ring a bell and then feed the animals meat powder . Eventually a neurological connection formed where the sound alone triggered the response. These kinds of subconscious mental associations happen with humans too. Unhealthy behaviors such as smoking and overeating are often triggered by cues in our daily lives that we are scarcely aware of. Hypnosis offers some very helpful tools to release these patterns.

Controlling stress- it is well known that ongoing stress has a negative impact on the body. Yet also can have a negative impact on our decision making process. A stressed mind is not creative and will revert to its prior conditioning.  Hypnosis is an incredibly effective way of learning how to relax deeply, something many people seldom if ever do.

If you have any questions, I am here to help. A free, confidential phone consultation is available, call (732)714-7040 to learn more.

Are You Suffering from a Vitamin U Deficiency?

NJ Hypnotist for Stress and Bad Habit Release

Some of the most popular reasons why people come to the private and small group hypnosis programs I offer include:

• Stop smoking.
• Promoting healthy weight loss.
• Overcoming unhealthy fears.
• Learning to cope better with ongoing health challenges such as tinnitus, chronic pain and IBS.

But do you know what all these issues have in common?

Something I call a "Vitamin U (you) deficiency": the faulty perception that you are incapable of positive change. 

Contrary to the popular portrayal in countless books and movies, a hypnotist like myself does not have any special powers.

Rather we reconnect people like yourself with their natural ability to learn, heal, grow and reach worthwhile goals. 

Think about this: between birth and age 5 you:

• Mastered the complex motor coordination required for walking, eating and drinking.
• Learned how speak a foreign language and probably began to read and write it as well.
• Developed enough "social engineering" capability so that you figured out how to live with a group of complete strangers.

Does a young child doubt their ability to learn these necessary life skills? Of course not, it was simply trial and error until you figured out how to make these things happen.

Yet somewhere along the way "trance" of self-doubt creeps in and we become convinced we are incapable of doing things we can in fact do.

Do you ever catch yourself making statement that begin with, "I am just not capable of..." ?

Then you are practicing negative self-hypnosis and programming yourself for failure!

My suspicion is that part of the problem is that culturally we are encouraged to look for external answers for most of life's problems in the form of more stuff or a pill for every ill.  Yet these solutions often fall short, do they not?

"By your own efforts, waken yourself, watch yourself. And live joyfully. You are the master"-Buddha.

A hypnosis program can help you move from helpless to hopeful, from stuck to stellar. It happens all the time and its a wonderful thing to witness. 

If you need to increase your RDA of "Vitamin U" I would be honored to help you. Call (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation or visit http://www.njhypno.com 

P.S. Free self-help hint: I find using the phrase, "I can choose to..." very helpful in challenging situations. Examples:

• "I can choose to deal with this problem calmly, creatively and effectively," 
• "I can choose to make this a great day."
• "I can choose to stay on track with healthy eating even though there are temptations present." 
• "I can choose to remain calm in spite of having this discomfort."

Remembering that in most instances you do indeed have the power of choice gives your Vitamin U levels a nice bump.

The Real Cost of Smoking?

Stop Smoking Hypnosis NJ

What is the real cost of smoking in New Jersey?  Depending on the brand and where you buy them it seems that the price range right now is anywhere from $8 to $12. But is that the only cost?

I bring that question up because you should consider all the facts when making an important decision, right?

Some people insist that they love the smoking habit. Still others are less passionate and classify it more as a like. I have heard many people say they cling to the smoking habit because of the need for relaxation and enjoyment-which are important human needs.

Reflect on the amount of relaxation and enjoyment you are receiving from this deal you have made with the smoking habit. Most smokers will report at best this totals up to about 30 minutes a day as there are usually 4 to 6 cigarettes that seem enjoyable. The rest are smoked out of pure habit. So ask yourself whether that half hour a day is a fair trade for:

• About $3,000 of your money each year (not counting additional cleaning, medical  and insurance expenses)
• Shortening your life expectancy by about 10 years.
• Damage to your skin and teeth, making you look older than you are.
• Deepening of the voice (in women).
• Loss of sexual virility (men).
• The sense that you have to smoke even when you don't want to.
• The inconvenience of the smoking habit (example: having to go outside to smoke in cold or rainy weather, being afraid of running out, etc.)

Only you can decide whether the cost to benefit ratio is worth it or not. If the answer is yes, continue as you are since I am not in the business of making people do things they don't want to do-but please keep me in mind if and when that changes.

If your answer is no, that smoking is no longer worth what it is really costing you, then its time to act. Please connect to discover how you can become more relaxed and comfortable as a healthy non-smoker for life as so many others have.

Call (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation.

Is Hypnosis Right for You? A Free E-Book

NJ Hypnotist: Free Information

Are you curious about hypnosis for self-improvement and would like to learn more? This concise, 10 page e-book will answer many of the questions you may have, including:

• Do you really lose control during hypnosis?
• What kind of challenges do hypnotists help people with?
• Can anyone be hypnotized?
• Who doesn't this work for?
• How can I increase my chances for success?

This primer will help you make an informed decision on whether a hypnosis counseling program would be a good fit for you as it has been for many other people. Grab your copy through the link below.

Hypnosis E-book FREE!

P.S. Please feel free to share this report with anyone else you know who may be interested too.