A Wish or a Desire?

There is a Zen story where a young novice approaches the master asking how he could achieve his wish of experiencing true enlightenment.

Without a word the master roughly grabbed the young man and dunked his head underwater in a nearby horse trough. He struggled for some time until the master released him, sputtering and gasping for air.

"When you desire enlightenment as much as you craved air just a moment ago, then you will find it," said the elder monk.

A bit extreme and not very nice if you ask me, but it does raise a question. What is the difference between a wish and a desire?

It may seem like a bit of semantics, but a wish is kind of weak and passive where a desire is strong and all consuming.

You may want greater health or success, but has it been a wish or a desire? This is an important distinction because in order to make significant change you have to overcome the natural tendency to fall into predictable ruts.  Emotion and passion is what will drive you out of the rut.

Yet this raises another question. What curbs our desires?

In Dr Rolf Alexader's classic book The Healing Power of the Mind (1989), the author notes that the subconscious mind will sometimes withdraw desire as a protective measure, when the fear of disappointment is greater than whatever emotional or physical pain you are going through.

This can explain why people often remain stuck even though the reasons to change far outweigh those to stay the same. People know they should stop smoking, eat and exercise well, be more confident and so on. However, reasoning is a conscious mind function and when it comes into conflict with subconscious programming, the latter almost always wins.

Hypnosis can help you quell those fears of failure and other negative conditioning. Having an experienced hypnosis practitioner in your corner can frequently help you make a significant breakthrough. If you would like to learn more, I am here to help. Call me directly at (732) 714-7040 for a free and confidential Life Enhancement Strategy Session.

Alchemy and the Upside of Addiction? A Different Perspective

A working definition of addiction could be, "the continued use of a substance or engagement in a behavior in spite of negative consequences." Some addictions such as opioid misuse or severe alcoholism have an element of what is called "tissue dependency" where a person may need medical assistance to safely wean off of the drug of choice. However, most addictions such as smoking, overeating, gambling and a host of others do not create tissue dependency, although they can and do create significant problems.

You might wonder what be the upside of addiction when it wreaks so much havoc? Well it does show the person is able to focus and engage in persistent goal seeking behavior. It's been noted that addicts of all varieties seem to be more driven than the average person and that often people in recovery go on to attain remarkable achievements.

For example, smokers always ensure they have a steady supply of cigarettes and plan their activities around when and where they can smoke-no exceptions. "Junk food junkies" will frequently have a stash (often hidden) of their favorite unhealthy food in their home or car. A gambler can always find a place where he or she can lay down a wager and so on.

Just as the alchemists of old sought to transform the base metal lead into gold, its strongly advised that a new set of goals be formulated when a person finally decides to disengage from the addictive behavior.

Dealing with stressors, past trauma and improving self-image are also important factors in recovery, yet finding a healthy and appropriate channel for the goal seeking drive is necessary too.

This is why I will often tell smoking cessation clients that this is the perfect time to get into a fitness program or take care of projects around the house. They are often astounded at how much they are getting done once the compulsion to smoke has been redirected into something positive.

Please feel free to connect if you would like some help transforming some of your lead into gold. Either give me a call directly at (732) 714-7040 or fill out the Life Enhancement Strategy Form and I will get back to you ASAP.

The Real Cost of Smoking?

Stop Smoking Hypnosis NJ

What is the real cost of smoking in New Jersey?  Depending on the brand and where you buy them it seems that the price range right now is anywhere from $8 to $12. But is that the only cost?

I bring that question up because you should consider all the facts when making an important decision, right?

Some people insist that they love the smoking habit. Still others are less passionate and classify it more as a like. I have heard many people say they cling to the smoking habit because of the need for relaxation and enjoyment-which are important human needs.

Reflect on the amount of relaxation and enjoyment you are receiving from this deal you have made with the smoking habit. Most smokers will report at best this totals up to about 30 minutes a day as there are usually 4 to 6 cigarettes that seem enjoyable. The rest are smoked out of pure habit. So ask yourself whether that half hour a day is a fair trade for:

• About $3,000 of your money each year (not counting additional cleaning, medical  and insurance expenses)
• Shortening your life expectancy by about 10 years.
• Damage to your skin and teeth, making you look older than you are.
• Deepening of the voice (in women).
• Loss of sexual virility (men).
• The sense that you have to smoke even when you don't want to.
• The inconvenience of the smoking habit (example: having to go outside to smoke in cold or rainy weather, being afraid of running out, etc.)

Only you can decide whether the cost to benefit ratio is worth it or not. If the answer is yes, continue as you are since I am not in the business of making people do things they don't want to do-but please keep me in mind if and when that changes.

If your answer is no, that smoking is no longer worth what it is really costing you, then its time to act. Please connect to discover how you can become more relaxed and comfortable as a healthy non-smoker for life as so many others have.

Call (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation.

Is Your Smoking Habit an Addiction?

In the group and individual smoking cessation programs I offer the discussion often includes the question as to whether cigarettes are truly "addictive."

Over the years I have come to the conclusion the answer is either yes or no and a lot hinges on how you perceive the idea of addiction.

For some addiction implies an inability to function without the drug of choice and the prospect of agonizing withdrawal symptoms if you do decide to let go of the habit.

This does hold true for many people who have a heavy narcotic habit and with some hardcore alcoholics-withdrawal in these cases may need medical intervention in order to be done safely.

On this count cigarette smoking is not addictive. As far as I know, no one has ever died for nicotine withdrawal. Next time you see your doctor ask if he or she has ever admitted someone to the hospital due to complications related to smoking cessation . Chances are you will get a puzzled look and the response of "no."

Any temporary physical or emotional symptoms experienced when you stop smoking are harmless and will pass soon enough if you don't light up again.

Now where smoking does resemble other addictions is in that once you stop it is a really crazy bad idea to think you can cheat once in awhile without relapsing.

The scenario usually entails the person rationalizing that sneaking one cigarette here and there won't hurt. However, experience shows that more often than not the ex-smoker will return to the full blown habit sooner than later. If you were a serious smoker (pack a day+ for years) controlled use is probably not an option for you, breaking free once and for all is the way to go.

So on that count smoking is like an addiction in that once you break free, don't tempt fate by cheating.

If you have any questions on how my smoking cessation program can help you to lead a healthier, cleaner and possibly longer life, please call me for a free, confidential phone consultation at (732) 714-7040.

Is it the Nicotine? Smoking Cessation Reconsidered

It was nearly 20 years ago that I first started seeing clients in my hypnosis counseling practice. During these two decades a large percentage of the people I have seen sought my help in order to become free of the smoking habit.

Looking back at the hundreds of private and small group sessions I have facilitated, here are some observations I have made about letting go of the smoking habit:

• If nicotine is so physically addictive why doesn't nicotine replacement therapy have a higher success rate? Most studies I have seen state around a 20% success rate for nicotine patches, with dummy or placebo patches having a rate of effectiveness of about 15%. So is 75% of the benefit really all in your head? I have encountered scores of folks who said that the patches didn't "work" and that they smoked while using them (quite dangerous to do BTW). Maybe the nicotine that isn't the key player here? 
• If smoking is relaxing, why does it elevate heart rate, blood pressure and constrict blood vessels? What may be relaxing is the slow, rhythmic breathing of the smoking behavior and/or the break in your routine. Smoking may be the only time a person engages in "mindfulness." Trust me, there are better ways of going about that!
• Perhaps it would be better if we referred to the behavior of smoking as a bad habit rather than an addiction. Addiction implies helplessness/hopelessness, however unhealthy habits can be dropped.
• I have met a number of individuals who experienced severe adverse reactions to the prescription medications for smoking cessation. Do keep in mind these drugs were originally marketed as anti-depressants. It was discovered some patients taking them for clinical depression reported spontaneously losing interest in their smoking habits and it was then that the pharmaceutical companies decided to offer them as a stop smoking treatment.  But what are the consequence of someone who is not depressed taking such a medication? Be sure to bring this up with your physician if you are considering that treatment route. 
• The look of pride and satisfaction on a person's face when they know they have conquered that dirty, dangerous habit by tapping into their own inner resources is priceless. You can be one of them! 

If you would like to learn more about how you can become a healthy non-smoker for life, call (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation.

Smoking and Serious Mental Illness?

I received an intriguing bit of information this morning from the Web MD newsletter concerning newly published research in the Lancet, a respected British medical journal.

The article "Smoking Linked to Schizophrenia" stated that smoking may be a risk factor in the development of that serious and persistent mental illness.

This was of particular interest to me for two reasons. First, as a professional hypnotist I help people let go of the smoking habit.  Second, prior to this career I was a case manager for over 10 years in an adult psychiatric rehabilitation program and the majority of the clients had a schizophrenia diagnosis.

The article notes that people with schizophrenia are far more likely to have a smoking habit than the general population. My past experience concurs with that. In fact, at one point  the facility I worked in decided to ban inside smoking because non-smoking staff were actually contracting smoking related illnesses from the noxious and ever present cloud of second hand smoke.

What was new information to me in the Web MD article was that a person receiving a first time diagnosis of schizophrenia is 3 times more likely to be a smoker than someone who isn't.

The researchers suspect that the tobacco habit increases the activity of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is implicated in the development of schizophrenia.

This really gives credence to the idea that we should use whatever means necessary to deter younger people from developing the smoking habit since the onset of schizophrenia usually occurs during a person's late teens or early twenties.

It also suggests that programs serving individuals with serious and persistent mental illness should offer smoking cessation services since the effect of nicotine on  neurotransmitter balance may be undercutting efforts towards recovery.  This counters the old belief that the mentally ill "needed" to smoke in order to soothe stress.

No one NEEDS to smoke. EVER!

If you would like to learn more about an effective stop smoking program I would like to offer you two options: a) a free, confidential phone consultation, call (732) 714-7040 or b) sign up for my free e-course on letting go of the smoking habit at http://eepurl.com/0Vd91

Source material for this article at: http://www.webmd.com/smoking-cessation/news/20150710/smoking-schizophrenia

Smoking and "Freedom"?

Its coming up on the 4th of July, America's celebration of it's Declaration of Independence and the belief that people deserve to be free. The notion that you have a right to self-determination is deeply ingrained in the American psyche.

Over the past couple of decades there has been some grumbling about smoker's "rights" being trampled upon by the ever increasing restrictions on when and where a person may smoke in public. Even though as a professional hypnotist I experience great joy in helping people let go of the smoking habit, to some degree I do appreciate that concern. No one really likes being told what to do.

It seems to be a situation where the rights of the individual are being weighed against the a) the effects of second hand smoke on people who chose to be smoke-free and b) the overall cost to society when it comes to the medical costs of treating totally preventable smoking related illnesses-which are astronomical.

Yet I do have some problems with the idea that a smoker is truly "free." Is it freedom when:

• You feel the need to light up even when you don't want to?
• That people persist with that habit even after being diagnosed with heart or lung ailments caused by smoking?
• That a pack a day cigarette habit costs around $3,000 a year during a lingering recession?
• That when and where you can smoke has to be considered before you decide to do something or travel somewhere?

An interesting historical factoid: the advertising executive who made smoking "fashionable"  for American women during the early 20th century, Edward Bernays, was Sigmund Freud's nephew!

Prior to his efforts smoking was not seen as a particularly feminine activity and was shunned by most women.

So the tobacco industry hired Bernays to increase their market share among the fairer sex. He arranged to have female celebrities of the day photographed smoking in public. Pretty young women were hired to hand out cigarettes at public events.

However his most effective ploy was to dub cigarettes "freedom sticks" to play up to the sentiments of the growing women's equality movement.

Unfortunately this public relations campaign was a whopping success and countless thousands of American women were condemned to preventable illnesses and early deaths.

Now if you wish to continue smoking, that is your business. However, if you would like to declare your independence from that dirty, dangerous and expensive habit, I am here to help.

A free, confidential phone consultation is available, call (732) 714-7040.

P.S. I have totally free stop smoking e-course for you if you would like to learn more. It shares little known secrets of becoming a healthy non-smoker for life. Just click on the link below, enter your email address and you are good to go.

http://eepurl.com/0Vd91

Stop Smoking Help in New Jersey

A short video I did on the benefits of letting go of the smoking habit. A free, private phone consultation is available if you have any questions, call (732) 714-7040.