On the heels of the recent revelations regarding a Hollywood mogul who apparently is a monstrous sexual predator, the hashtag #metoo this week became a way for women to show solidarity on social media platforms, indicating that they too had been victimized by this type of abuse and harassment.

It was very saddening to see how many women have been mistreated in this way and keep in mind these are just the ones who are willing to be publicly identified. The real number is surely much higher.

These kind of traumatic events may leave lasting negative imprints that can significantly impact a person's quality of life unless address properly processed.

After a traumatic experience takes place, for a time there will usually be strong emotional reactions when it is recalled. In the process of healing, the emotions eventually dissipate and the event goes to what is called, "narrative memory." You know it happened, yet it doesn't provoke as powerful a reaction when you think about it.

Yet for some the memories remain fresh; even decades later it can seem as if it happened yesterday.

This becomes problematic since anything that reminds the person of the original event can provoke feelings of fear and anxiety due to a process known as pattern matching.  For example, a person isn't just afraid of the man who abused her, but is fearful of all men in his age group. This kind of dynamic takes place in many other types of unhealthy fears such as public speaking, heights, insects, etc. The generalization ends up limiting the individual that in a way that is not helpful.

A highly effective technique for decreasing the effect of negative memories is the Rewind Technique. I was trained in it a few years back and have seen some notable successes with it.

What attracted me to the Rewind Technique is that it is completely non-traumatic to the client. It is not a process where a person has to vividly relive past hurt, but rather learns how to release the emotional charge. Another positive attribute of the method is that a person does not have to share much in the way of specific details related to the hurt or upset, a general description is adequate.

If you or someone you know may benefit from some assistance in getting over a negative past experience,. a free, confidential phone consultation is available by calling (732) 714-7040

P.S. If you are a professional hypnotist or other helping professional, you can learn about training in the Rewind Technique and other helpful interventions at the Uncommon Knowledge Web Site.

Elaine Billy Upcoming Workshop Schedule

 Elaine Billy’s Choices

198 Schanck Rd Freehold, NJ 732-761-1026

Workshop Schedule 2017

RELEASING AND REMOVING BLOCKS and RECHARGING—Friday, February 10, 2017, 7 PM

Uncover your limiting beliefs, blocks and issues. Learn how to recharge. Let go of old issues and create a life of opportunities. Heal wounds that may have fragmented you and reclaim your power!!

DREAMS—Friday, March 3, 2017, 7 PM

Program yourself to receive answers in your dreams and retrieve the information during the day! Discover the symbols and meanings of your dreams and visions. What happens when we don’t dream? Learn what our dreams tell us in each cycle of dreaming!! Find keys to utilize dream-time to heal or resolve our problems. We’ll make collages and understand our subconscious desires!!! We’ll discover how to read messages to help in our decision-making efforts.

PAST LIFE REGRESSION— Friday, April 7, 2017 7PM

Have we been here before or are we remembering our genetic encoding? Unlock knowledge to help explain relationships, roles, experiences, career choices, health conditions, economic standards, beliefs, likes and dislikes…. By opening windows of the past, one can accept responsibility, find answers, free ourselves of limitations, enhance skills, heal the present, explore….resolve…heal….and enjoy the trip. We can also look into our future!!

COST: $75 per person per workshop. Registration and food begin at 6:30.

Are You Suffering from a Vitamin U Deficiency?

NJ Hypnotist for Stress and Bad Habit Release

Some of the most popular reasons why people come to the private and small group hypnosis programs I offer include:

• Stop smoking.
• Promoting healthy weight loss.
• Overcoming unhealthy fears.
• Learning to cope better with ongoing health challenges such as tinnitus, chronic pain and IBS.

But do you know what all these issues have in common?

Something I call a "Vitamin U (you) deficiency": the faulty perception that you are incapable of positive change. 

Contrary to the popular portrayal in countless books and movies, a hypnotist like myself does not have any special powers.

Rather we reconnect people like yourself with their natural ability to learn, heal, grow and reach worthwhile goals. 

Think about this: between birth and age 5 you:

• Mastered the complex motor coordination required for walking, eating and drinking.
• Learned how speak a foreign language and probably began to read and write it as well.
• Developed enough "social engineering" capability so that you figured out how to live with a group of complete strangers.

Does a young child doubt their ability to learn these necessary life skills? Of course not, it was simply trial and error until you figured out how to make these things happen.

Yet somewhere along the way "trance" of self-doubt creeps in and we become convinced we are incapable of doing things we can in fact do.

Do you ever catch yourself making statement that begin with, "I am just not capable of..." ?

Then you are practicing negative self-hypnosis and programming yourself for failure!

My suspicion is that part of the problem is that culturally we are encouraged to look for external answers for most of life's problems in the form of more stuff or a pill for every ill.  Yet these solutions often fall short, do they not?

"By your own efforts, waken yourself, watch yourself. And live joyfully. You are the master"-Buddha.

A hypnosis program can help you move from helpless to hopeful, from stuck to stellar. It happens all the time and its a wonderful thing to witness. 

If you need to increase your RDA of "Vitamin U" I would be honored to help you. Call (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation or visit http://www.njhypno.com 

P.S. Free self-help hint: I find using the phrase, "I can choose to..." very helpful in challenging situations. Examples:

• "I can choose to deal with this problem calmly, creatively and effectively," 
• "I can choose to make this a great day."
• "I can choose to stay on track with healthy eating even though there are temptations present." 
• "I can choose to remain calm in spite of having this discomfort."

Remembering that in most instances you do indeed have the power of choice gives your Vitamin U levels a nice bump.

The Real Cost of Smoking?

Stop Smoking Hypnosis NJ

What is the real cost of smoking in New Jersey?  Depending on the brand and where you buy them it seems that the price range right now is anywhere from $8 to $12. But is that the only cost?

I bring that question up because you should consider all the facts when making an important decision, right?

Some people insist that they love the smoking habit. Still others are less passionate and classify it more as a like. I have heard many people say they cling to the smoking habit because of the need for relaxation and enjoyment-which are important human needs.

Reflect on the amount of relaxation and enjoyment you are receiving from this deal you have made with the smoking habit. Most smokers will report at best this totals up to about 30 minutes a day as there are usually 4 to 6 cigarettes that seem enjoyable. The rest are smoked out of pure habit. So ask yourself whether that half hour a day is a fair trade for:

• About $3,000 of your money each year (not counting additional cleaning, medical  and insurance expenses)
• Shortening your life expectancy by about 10 years.
• Damage to your skin and teeth, making you look older than you are.
• Deepening of the voice (in women).
• Loss of sexual virility (men).
• The sense that you have to smoke even when you don't want to.
• The inconvenience of the smoking habit (example: having to go outside to smoke in cold or rainy weather, being afraid of running out, etc.)

Only you can decide whether the cost to benefit ratio is worth it or not. If the answer is yes, continue as you are since I am not in the business of making people do things they don't want to do-but please keep me in mind if and when that changes.

If your answer is no, that smoking is no longer worth what it is really costing you, then its time to act. Please connect to discover how you can become more relaxed and comfortable as a healthy non-smoker for life as so many others have.

Call (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation.

Is Hypnosis Right for You? A Free E-Book

NJ Hypnotist: Free Information

Are you curious about hypnosis for self-improvement and would like to learn more? This concise, 10 page e-book will answer many of the questions you may have, including:

• Do you really lose control during hypnosis?
• What kind of challenges do hypnotists help people with?
• Can anyone be hypnotized?
• Who doesn't this work for?
• How can I increase my chances for success?

This primer will help you make an informed decision on whether a hypnosis counseling program would be a good fit for you as it has been for many other people. Grab your copy through the link below.

Hypnosis E-book FREE!

P.S. Please feel free to share this report with anyone else you know who may be interested too.

Time to Lighten the Load?

Stress Relief NJ

A helpful term to understand in regards to stress management is allostatic load as it can explain why your stress response may be out of proportion to what you are actually experiencing in life right now.

Stress occurs when we have to make adaptations to changing circumstances. For example, when you climb a flight of stairs your heart rate has to increase and should go back down once you get to rest.

When faced with financial adversity, your brain dedicates more of it's resources towards finding a solution to your dilemma until its solved.

If you were suddenly chased by a wild dog, your body would rapidly prepare to flee or engage in self defense. This is what is known as the fight or flight response to help you deal with the threat- a state marked by the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.

The fight or flight response can be triggered by both physical and emotional threats.

Without this ability to adapt you wouldn't survive the adverse circumstances and challenges that we all encounter. However nature intended to fight or flight to be a short term response and if it goes on too long there can be serious physical, emotional and behavioral consequences.

In a perfect world the heightened stress response would always release once the problem had been solved or the threat had passed by a process known as allostasis, where the mind and body return to it's natural and more relaxed state.

The allostatic load refers to the strain on the mind and body which increases over time if you are exposed to repeated or chronic stress.

For many individuals the allostatic process breaks down and the stress response remains activated even when there is no need to for it do so. Not unlike a rusted water valve or a broken light switch that gets stuck in the on position.

This inability to rebalance from a stressful state is linked to numerous problems including addictions, chronic pain, anxiety, IBS, tinnitus and other ongoing challenges.

Everyone has different stress thresholds, but it seems that exposure to trauma, especially in childhood, seems to be a major factor of whether a person can shift back to rest and digest or remains in stuck in fight or flight.

Mind/body healing practices such as mindfulness meditation, self-hypnosis, qigong and yoga can enable you to reduce your allostatic load. An overall healthy lifestyle that includes good nutrition, proper hydration, exercise and avoidance of toxins such as tobacco also help.

If you have any questions, I am here to help! Please feel free to call (732) 714-7040 for a free, confidential phone consultation.

P.S. The book linked below Conquer Chronic Pain by Dr. Peter Przekop,  is a treasure trove of info on the link between stress, chronic pain and addictions.

Tinnitus Coping Tip #6

Tinnitus Help NJ

Although it is often not possible to pinpoint the exact cause of someone's tinnitus, there are certain behaviors and situations that can aggravate the symptoms.

For example, most folks with tinnitus know its important to avoid prolonged exposure to loud noise and that they should use hearing protection when going to a concert or using power tools.

Another potential problem scenario is encountered during flight if your ear and Eustachian tubes cannot adjust properly to the changes in air pressure, this is known as barotrauma or airplane ear and can be quite painful.

I've encountered a number of individuals who state that their ringing or buzzing was made worse by flight. Although travel is a wonderful tonic for the body and mind, do take precautions to minimize any potential problems.

According to the Mayo Clinic website you should follow these tips to avoid airplane ear:

• Yawn and swallow during ascent and descent. Yawning and swallowing activate the muscles that open your Eustachian tubes. You can suck on candy or chew gum to help you swallow.
• Use the Valsalva maneuver during ascent and descent. Gently blow, as if blowing your nose, while pinching your nostrils and keeping your mouth closed. Repeat several times, especially during descent, to equalize the pressure between your ears and the airplane cabin.
• Don't sleep during takeoffs and landings. If you're awake during ascents and descents, you can do the necessary self-care techniques when you feel pressure on your ears.
• Reconsider travel plans. If possible, don't fly when you have a cold, sinus infection, nasal congestion or ear infection. If you've recently had ear surgery, talk to your doctor about when it's safe to travel.
• Use filtered earplugs. These earplugs slowly equalize the pressure against your eardrum during ascents and descents. You can purchase these at drugstores, airport gift shops or your local hearing clinic.
• Use an over-the-counter decongestant nasal spray. If you have nasal congestion, use a nasal decongestant about 30 minutes to an hour before takeoff and landing. Avoid overuse, however, because nasal decongestants taken over several days can increase congestion.
• Use oral decongestant pills cautiously. Oral decongestants may be helpful if taken 30 minutes to an hour before an airplane flight. However, if you have heart disease, a heart rhythm disorder or high blood pressure, or if you've experienced possible medication interactions, avoid taking an oral decongestant unless your doctor approves. If you're a man older than age 50, you may experience serious side effects after taking decongestants containing pseudoephedrine (Actifed, Sudafed) such as urinary retention, especially if you have an enlarged prostate. If you're pregnant, talk to your doctor before taking oral decongestants.
• Take allergy medication. If you have allergies, take your medication about an hour before your flight.

If you're prone to severe airplane ear and must fly often, your doctor may surgically place tubes in your eardrums to aid fluid drainage, ventilate your middle ear, and equalize the pressure between your outer ear and middle ear.

Reference for this article:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/airplane-ear/manage/ptc-20200663

P.S. If you would like to learn more about mind/body healing for tinnitus, please visit
http://njhypno.com/tinnitus_hypnosis_new_jersey_id109.html

Exam Nerves?

Test Anxiety Help NJ

Exam nerves or test anxiety can be a real bear to deal with. You put in the time and effort to study, complete all of your assignments, but when it comes to test time BLANK!

Over the years I have encountered many individuals who found test anxiety impaired their ability to pass important academic or professional exams, leaving them feeling stuck and frustrated. Large amounts of time, money and effort have been expended only to have a test stand in the way.

What is going on in these situations?

To begin, its helpful to consider a psychological concept known as state dependent memory which states that a memory is best recalled when a person is in the same state of consciousness as when the memory was first formed.

Situations where real or perceived danger is present activate the body's fight or flight mechanism where stress hormones such as adrenaline are released. As the name suggests this response will prepare you to run or fight but at the same time will impair your ability to think and act with care and precision.

This is why the military, law enforcement and other organizations that frequently operate under highly stressful conditions will structure their training exercises to be as realistic as possible. Its one thing to carry out a complex task in a calm environment and still another when fear and anxiety is present because of real or simulated danger.

Now with test anxiety one possibility would be to somehow make your study time as stressful as possible. But I imagine this would be kind of difficult to pull off, not to mention unpleasant!

The better option is to learn ways of manage and modulate your tension levels through hypnosis so they don't get out of hand at crunch time.

Why hypnosis?

Hypnosis deals directly with the automatic responses of the unconscious mind. Its not like you walk into an exam room and purposefully decide to get nervous.

And you may have found that logically trying to reason fear away doesn't work too well either. The subconscious mind is imaginative and emotional, so a different approach is called for.

A customized, 3 session program usually works best in these situations and the modest investment involved often makes all the difference. A free, confidential phone consultation is available, call (732) 714-7040.

Tinnitus Coping Tip #4 Can Mindfulness Help?

Tinnitus Help NJ

A lot of media attention has been given recently to the topic of mindfulness meditation as a useful intervention for stress and anxiety.

Mindfulness is a relatively simple concept but can be quite profound in its effects once you grasp it. It is defined as a state of being completely engaged in the present moment. How could this be helpful to you?

Proponents of mindfulness state that the primary source of stress is when we leave the present moment and either a) dwell on negative events from the past that cannot be changed or b) project our worries into the future, frequently called "what if" thinking.

I've encountered people with tinnitus who constantly replay the events that may have initiated the symptoms, such as,"how could I have been so stupid to go to that loud concert without my ear plugs?" Still others spend a lot of time worrying, "what if this gets worse, am I going to go crazy?"

These thoughts can be as anxiety producing as the actual ringing or buzzing itself.

Yet when you think about it, you are actually OK in the present moment as long as you are breathing. In fact the method of mindfulness meditation I teach to my hypnosis clients usually involves a focus on the breath.

Now you may be wondering though about what if you have an unpleasant symptom going on such as chronic pain or tinnitus, why would you want to be mindful then?

Part of a mindfulness practice is becoming more able to accept whatever is going on in the present moment without judgment. You learn to detach a bit and observe your thoughts and feelings rather than resisting them.

Your negative thoughts and feelings aren't really part of you, they are temporary experiences that will pass, especially if you don't energize them with your attention.

As the Buddha was quoted as saying, "our suffering arises from resisting what is."

A helpful metaphor is to think about thoughts, feelings and sensations as being like ripples in a pond rather than the pond itself.

As mentioned, mindfulness meditation is one of the techniques I teach during my hypnosis sessions along with other methods of self-hypnosis.

If you would like to learn more, a free, confidential phone consultation is available. Call (732) 714-7040. 

Tinnitus Coping Tip #3-Buyer Beware

Tinnitus Help NJ

Since I've done a fair amount of online research on the topic of tinnitus relief, the elves that run the internet assume I must have tinnitus too due to my search history.

As a result I frequently receive unsolicited (spam) ads for various and sundry tinnitus relief products. The question is: do any of them work?

It is fully understandable that if you are struggling with tinnitus that you would pay just about anything for instant relief. Yet do keep in mind that unfortunately there is a segment of the population that will gladly exploit the desperation of others for their own personal gain.

The strategies that do have a proven history of helping people habituate to their tinnitus such as sound masking therapies, exercise and mind/body healing methods like mindfulness meditation, acupuncture and self-hypnosis are not ones that normally provide overnight results. Usually its going take some time and persistence for you to experience significant improvement.

So it makes the appeal all the more understandable of "magic tinnitus ear drops" and other concoctions that claim they will knock out the ringing and buzzing in nothing flat.

Yet there is no documented proof that any of these remedies are any more effective than a placebo and some of the ingredients, especially from some of the less than reputable online distributors, may actually be harmful. That and they can be quite expensive.

This is not to say that nutritional therapy is of no value. I know of many healthcare providers who practice what is known as integrative medicine who recommend supplements to their patients.

Certain nutrients such as the B-complex, vitamin C and magnesium can become depleted when a person is a state of high anxiety, which is often the case when someone is experiencing tinnitus.

Yet you would be well-served to consult with a nutritionally oriented physician or pharmacist who can help you determine proper dosage and what nutrients would be right for your particular situation. And it bears repeating, there is no "magic bullet," nutritional or otherwise, for tinnitus at this time.

If you would like to explore mind/body healing for your tinnitus situation, a free, confidential phone consultation is available by calling (732) 714-7040.

Reference for this article: Dr. Robert DiSogra is an audiologist from Freehold, NJ who is very knowledgeable about treating tinnitus and has a published article on supplements for tinnitus posted through at the link below.
http://www.audiologyonline.com/articles/20q-dietary-supplements-for-tinnitus-13916

Tinnitus Coping Tip #2

Tinnitus Help NJ

In our previous coping tip, we mentioned how there is the neurological signal that is producing the sensory experience of tinnitus and then there is the emotional response to it and that most therapies address the latter since there is no known "cure" for most cases.

Its interesting to note that tinnitus and chronic pain do share some similarities. In particular, it is believed that a gatekeeper function of the nervous system that normally blocks sensory experiences is malfunctioning, something that is called Central Sensitivity Syndrome or C.S.S..

Stress, anxiety and sleep deprivation are all thought to contribute to the development of C.S.S, which is why mind/body healing methods such as hypnosis, mindfulness meditation, acupuncture and yoga are often helpful with tinnitus and chronic pain even though they really aren't doing anything about the initial neurological signal. Rather they help tame the negative response.

However, there is one pitfall that you should be aware of, which leads to to:

Tip #2-Avoid black and white thinking- over the years in my capacity as a professional hypnotist, I have noticed a difference between people learn to cope successfully with tinnitus versus those who don't-actually this idea applies to virtually everyone I see.

The person who insists that anything other than a complete and absolute removal of their symptoms is a waste of time will usually remain stuck and miserable.

The successful clients have been those who appreciate that an initial reduction in their distress of say 20 or 30% is worthwhile progress and they build on that, having progressively more good days as time goes by.

While its understandable why someone would wish for an instant and complete cure, expecting or demanding one is only going to set you up for failure.

As the Buddha was quoted as saying, "our suffering arises from resisting what is."

Now this does not meant to suggest anyone would want tinnitus or chronic pain. But an odd thing is that acceptance often leads to greater comfort.

You don't have to have a complete remission (although that would be wonderful) to benefit from taking proactive steps to increase your comfort level.

Do please feel free to connect if you have any questions, I am here to help! A free, confidential phone consultation is available, call (732) 714-7040.

Tinnitus Coping Tip #1

Tinnitus Help NJ Info

Tinnitus, a chronic ringing, buzzing or hissing in the ears, can be a challenging and stressful condition to have. The medical community has little to offer in the way of a treatment and quite frequently patients are told to, "go home and learn to live with it," without receiving any specific guidance on how to do that-which causes many people to panic.

In this and comings posts I am going to share some observations regarding effective coping tips that I have come across in my experience as both a professional hypnotist who teaches stress reduction skills as well as someone who has facilitated support groups for people learning to adjust to tinnitus.

First of all its important to note that the experience of tinnitus is comprised of two basic components: the sensory signal and your response to it.

Since tinnitus is not truly sound (a vibration carried on airwaves) logic tells us that it is generated somewhere within the sensory apparatus that processes sound: the ears, otic nerve and the brain.

At the risk of oversimplification, somewhere along that chain, a nerve is misfiring and that is being misinterpreted by your consciousness as being a sound.

At the present moment, the medical community does not have a way of mitigating those unwanted signals.

So for now it is important to focus on what you can control-your response to the signal. Which brings us to:

Tip # 1 Using sound to your advantage: its a known that the human mind can only attend to a certain amount of stimuli at one time.

For example, if you had a pounding headache and all of a sudden a hungry looking tiger walked into the room, trust me you would completely forget about the headache for the time being!

A more commonplace example is when someone is enjoying herself and forgets all about her aches and pains for the time being.

Many people with tinnitus report that the sounds seem to become louder when they have nothing to do or when they try to fall asleep. This is probably because there has been a reduction in competing stimuli-rather than an increase in the actual volume of the tinnitus. Sort of how a candle can seem very bright in a dark room, yet it would be hard to tell if that candle were even lit if it were outside on a bright day.

Experiment with a variety of background sounds you find soothing and/or interesting, having them play at around 90% of the perceived volume of the tinnitus. This can give your attention somewhere else to go.

I've heard of a DIY version of a "sound pillow" where you put the earbuds from an iPod type device between the pillow and the case to help the transition from sleep to waking.

That's it for this time. Make sure you be on the lookout for future tips in future editions of the Creative Calm Newsletter. Also please feel free to connect with your questions as I'm here to help! A free, confidential phone consultation is available, call (732) 714-7040.